Malaysiaku Gemilang

Woke up quite early today to beat the rush hour traffic. Wanted to get a better seat at the Parliament today. Still got myself into a little jam on the Sprint.









Courtesy of Flickr.










Drove into Jln. Parliament and the security checkpoint was a breeze. They didn't even bother to check my trunk. I could have brought Semtex with me and threw it at Najib to make him into Altantuya stew and the police won't even know. Talk about national security, Hah! who cares.

Got a good seat in the House and had a full view of everything. I saw Anwar. Yeah! you the man!
There wasn't much of a debate in it but then came a point where arguments were so heated, MPs were hurling insults over each other and along tagged the shouting, high pitched laughing and table-slapping. They did it as if it would put hair on their privates. I am most amused when the Lord Speaker didn't even utter a sound. No warning to the troublemakers and definitely didn't pitch in the use of authority then.

I have had the privilege to attend some Parliamentary sessions in Singapore and hell, you would not even want to compare. I think we are really lucky that our chairs are rooted with high pressure screws or I might have to observe a mini Taiwan today.

It could be the fact that the house enjoys immunities for what they say. Probably due to this, the nation's most secure facility has been turned into a chest-thumping and taunting playground for our representatives. Seeing that, I pondered on the extent of civility of our knighted people. Again, first class Parliament, third class people. How low can you people get? What a shame.

Finger licking GOOD!

If you ever want to hear a male scream and squeal as if his balls were squeezed (oh yes! damn sure they do), walk into any gaming cafe and you can see eyes of numerous people glued onto that stupid box clicking away as they laugh, scream and shout like a bitch.

Left 4 Dead has got the groins of many boys. To me, it was a dream that almost came true.
















The very moment I saw this game, I had erections so hard Ali Cafe would use me as their model for highway advertisements.

Left 4 Dead is a game powered by Steam engine. So its controls, engine, handling feels familiar to that of Counter-Strike. Valve owns this game.

The whole story is about 4 immune survivors trying to get the hell out of that swarm infected place before getting bits of their asses masticated off. Well, they would still die from bleeding won't they?

That would be your sole objective. The co-operative game can be played with 3 of your friends and together, all of you would have to work as one with the help of environmental aids such as gas cans, gas tanks and o2 cylinders. Guns would still be available though, but you don't want to risk going full auto like Arny because it may prove to be fatal when the horde arrives. Simply, get together, work as one and get the hell out of that place.

The 4 featured survivors are:


Francis: A heavily tatooed biker who looks like a rapist;










Bill: A Vietnam war veteran grandpa with rich survival experience
to get your sorry ass out of that place;








Louis: A junior analyst in a company who, unsurprisingly, has an
irritating voice and;










Zoey: My personal favourite. A girl tough enough to shame some
whiny men.







To give the game an additional kick and a pinch of sadism, Valve has added special infected into the game where players can assume the role of an unique zombie to unleash hell upon its victims. At any time, a maximum of 4 players can be on the zombie side. With 4 players on the side of survivors, you can get a 4 vs 4 power play. Cool huh? Among the special infected are:


Boomer: A fat-like-shit, onion-breathed and obnoxious infected who prowess the ability to barf on the survivors. A slight scent of vomit on the survivors triggers a horde of zombies towards you.








Hunter: An infected that looks like a high school drop-out who emits a distinctive loud noise when pouncing on its victims.









Smoker: This guy with a primary 5 haircut uses his long tongue to snare you. In any event that your teammates fail to rescue you from his grasp, you will choke to death








Tank or TAAAANKERRR!!!!!!!!: A more muscular than Arny guy with crazy HP that your teammates and yourself are required to gang up to bring him down.








Witch/Bitch: A crazy ass crying lady with the like resemblence to that of my lecturer. You can't play as the witch. If you somehow startle her, you would be better of if you take her down as soon as possible. She is more dangerous than she looks.






I give Valve 4 stars for this game and because it feels just as close as a zombie apocalypse in reality, 1 more star for Valve. 5/5. Currently, I've already got a lot of friends hooked on to it. The girls I know are crazy over it too. Highly recommended!

Laugh untill my balls drop off

This is one hell of a funny product that managed to give me a stretch of laughter so long, my balls dropped off.






























Maybe its just me, but since when was this made available to the public especially in Malaysia. The look of it makes me hungry. Adakah kasut kamu halal? AHAHAHAHAHAHA.... HAHAHHAHAHAHAHA..... The salesman is probably going to tell you " Eh, maaf zahir batin lah bang, we tak boleh handle the kasut. Tak boleh, haram, not halal, memang tak suci lah.