Lecturer Idol (part 2)

Harlow, my name Stelios Andreadakis.
I is chow ah beng and I engrish not pronounces goodly.
This is because I is pai kia. I also part-time gangsta cum rappa.
Lim pei boss name is Sonia Morano Faodi. She from Italia, asshole.
I froem Greece but I don't wear olive twigs on lim pei head and don't walk around bo cheng sah.
I got one piercing on my chin and four on each nipple, coupled with one 6 inch satay stick in my Lan Cheow.

You want to play tough, sure cannot beat me one.


















To be my friend,

1)You must come to your lecture or I will tell Hercules to throw you into the dead sea.
2)You must do your seminar or later I tell Zeus strike lightning in your Pi Gu Dong.
3)Cannot laff at my body odour or I tell my president to ban you from Olampics.





I WANT TO WIN LECHER IDOL BECAUSE:
When you know me long enuf,
you can come my house,
eat my food,
listen to my music,
use my sister,
and have happy times.
IT IS NICE!

The song that came up in my head.

So long, fare thee well
The dancer and the dancing days have taken leave and fell
So turn down this bed of stone
Quench me with the deadly nightshade from the rose that you belong

[Chorus]
The long December rain is falling now
Running down on streets to nowhere
Music is my life - you're my sweetest nightingale
But I can't hear it here no more
And I go...

Hush now, don't shake or break
Words have fallen silent like soldiers to the grave
No matter what they do or say
Lay me on the sleepy meadows by the tracks upon your face"

.......................................................................

The coke on my table, bitter
The voice of the lecturer, silent
The feeling I had, anxious
The wind that blew, chilly

Shivering with tears, I didn't have the chance to say "take care".



Goodbye.


With love,
Burton.

HAHAHAHA!

Now that I have Devious Rambutan's lighter,

she ain't really quaint to smoke som' weed yo'. So, peace and chill out...

Lecturer Idol

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,

SI MI LAN JIAO BLOG? is organizing a brand new event called LECTURER IDOL.
Many lecturers have signed up to win this Million rupiah contest.

The rules are simple, lecturers have to write in why they deserve a million rupiahs by stating the phrase
"I WANT TO WIN LECTURER IDOL BECAUSE" .....

Rules of the game*,
1)Do not write theses or essays;
2)Keep it short and sweet;
3)No "grandmother", "grandfather" or "brother father sister mother son" stories;
4)No threatening members of the audience with their grades.




AND YOU AUDIENCE,
You are the judges. Vote for your favourite lecturer by writing in the comment column below each contestant.

YOUR FAVOURITE LECTURER ISN'T IN IT?
No problem, just give a shout out at the chat box to the right of the page!












*Conditions, warranty, terms, clauses, s.14 SOGA 1987, Sexy Time Orientation Act 2008, Funny Stories Act 1928, Kay Kiang Act 2005, Chao Ah Gua Act 1780, You Think You So Clever Act 1907,
Cannot say Chao Chee Bhye Regulations 1895, Boh Liao Act 2001 apply.






Good luck contestants and have fun voters!

Lecturer Idol (part 1)

Up on the list, you have Mr. Young.

15 facts you should know about Jeff Young.

It is true that:
1)Jeff isn't Young anymore
2)Jeff "Mighty" Young is not in anyway like Mighty Joe Young
3)Jeff Young can make onions cry.
4)Jeff Young can turn you into stone when you look into his eyes.
5)There is no question as to whether Jeff Young is fit for purpose.
6)You can never beat Jeff Young in Commercial and Contract Law.
7)Jeff Young can do push ups with Contract Law.
8)Jeff Young made contract and commercial law.
9)Jeff Young can do Ironman in one hour.
10)Wait a while, he is Ironman.
11)Jeff Young is a sexy man.
12)The song "I'm too sexy" by Right said Fred is written for him.
13)So sexy no one dares compare himself to him in a pageant.
14)A word from Jeff Young and the thunders roar.
15)Jeff Young's LAN JIAO is SI BEI TUA.




















The Fifteen Golden rules that could spare your ass a beating.

1)You shall not sleep in class.
2)You shall complete your tutorials.
3)Your tutorials must be satisfactory (s.14)
4)Part of Jeff Young is coffee. You shall not drink the same kind of coffee or risk
being stoned.
5)Jeff Young spills his coffee every time. When he does, pretend nothing happened.
6)You will love Jeff Young as you love yourself.
7)Despite this, you must not boot-lick. You risk getting crushed by overwhelming
power.
8)You shall not fantasize yourself with Jeff Young.
9)When you see Jeff Young, you must bow at least 95 degrees.
10)Do not turn your back to Jeff Young while you walk away.
11)You shall support the football team Jeff Young supports.
12)If Jeff Young takes the bus, YOU MUST NOT DRIVE.
13)Jeff Young knows what you did last Raya.
14)Never start an argument with him, you imbecile.
15)Never challenge Jeff Young in a law suit, the judges bow to him.





So, I WANT TO WIN LECTURER IDOL BECAUSE:

Robert Bradgate Sexbook = £32.99
Strapless bra to seduce Jeff Young = £15.99
Costs for coursework printing = £2
Getting an A for coursework = Priceless

There are some things money can't buy, for others there's














JEFF YOUNG!

London, I

A few weeks ago hor, I go Lan-dong because got some cheapskate promotion boy gave me a one pound return ticket from Cocksford to Lan-dong. The ticket alone hor, so damn heavy ler.

I go with my brudder. His name is Nick. I like him!



















Then, I also go with my Gugu. 3 some more ler. I'm so proud of myself. 3 Gugu, some long but thin. Others shorter but more texture. Shiok ah! The 3Gs:














































Then hor, we go the Lan-dong's Queen Momma's House. The guard stand there hor with the pubic hair grow on his head one hor told me hor that the Momma Queen stay inside to do her homework one ler. Never see the woman before, I show you ah, wait.












Her House bery dangerous de wor. Got many boh liao people in police disguise pretend to guard there one. As if she is so important like that. Also har, if I forget the name of her house and I write it wrongly by one word, sounds so vulgar lar. Maybe the rumours are true about her full name being Queen "Chao Ah Lian" Momma . Hai, T.T, waste of Engrish tax-payer moneys.


































Queen Momma also very sia suay de wor. Outside her house ah, got naked man and woman sit there pose for her 24/7 de hor. How come she so gatal de? The man made of sand also she wants. In Malaysia ah, like that hor, the Queen will go into ISA you know? and the bogel man will be removed by censor. Don't think I dun noe law.






















This Lan-dong hor, si bei lak tak de lor. So no mannered and no cultured. With the si bey dua ki lan cheow in the middle of no where, I see already I also face red.
Maybe I should give my attachment a name because I don't think he got one. I think I can call him Big Ben.































London, I thank you for offering your majestic beauty and;
To the people who had made the trip preciously memorable, thank you.



Till the next time we meet,
With love from Oxford,
Burton.

It's Nice!

AWOL for bledy long time. I damn busy ok? I sick also ok?

Yeah, so stop msning me for updates. Here it is.
































It's FINALLY HERE after a week! Thank you. I swear I've got enough combat rations to last the winter.... wooooooo.....

Hello Gordon!

As I open a new chapter of the book of life, I am overwhelmed by both anxiety and pressure. But, I'll cope and will cope damn well.

So, goodbye Najib, hello Gordon!

Unpatriotic Patriotism

As independence day approaches, the streets are lit with bright neons marking how near we are to the day it all started. Alleys are filled with banners that read the idea that many thought would never come. "Merdeka!", as Tengku put it, lives strongly in the hearts of many Malaysians especially of the older generation who lived to tell. Malaysians find this glorious day more than just a mundane holiday. It is a true compilation of a journey built on blood, fears, tears and courage. Merdeka was a new glimpse of hope.

I have strong feelings for her, not because I am old but due to the simple virtue of patriotism. O' Lord, I don't even know whether I can consider myself one. So, before the 31st passes and I start putting aside the significance of it by burying myself with everyday responsibilities, allow me to pen down a few thoughts before it slips my mind.

Malaysia, once a glorious nation and an ASEAN economic powerhouse, was a role model for many developing Asian countries. She was a country that saw speedy GDP growth as well a vibrant life. The young nation was the world's leader in tin mining as well as the owner to the world's tallest building before being overtaken by Taipei 101. It is renowned for a world class infrastructure. With that in mind, this is a nation blessed not only with natural resources but also with the potential of realizing the affluent dream. But, that was history.

The present Malaysia despite being mighty by appearance is crippled by rampant corruption and shameless scandals that relate not only to national security but to the whole economic wellbeing as well. It really pains me to see a country like this reduced into such a state. Coupled with incompetency, negligence and arrogance of the government, citizens are often disappointed and upset with the administrative abilities the government has to offer. In the light of this, one might be able to comprehend the gravity of such helplessness when he/she walks into governmental agencies. These limbs of the government are known to be slow as well as inefficient with their responsibilities to the extent that there is no essence of co-operation within the agencies. Many times, department A finds that they can't process documents without department B's approval and thus refers the poor man to the latter only to find that both of them can't do shit. The public sector is too rigid and has too many protocols in them that they find themselves in a straightjacket. I am often overwhelmed with such awe that my jaws need to undergo surgery once every month.

Money makes the world go round and bribery is very much the problem in Malaysia. It might seem that this is they only way to keep the stagnant system moving. Moving away from the government, I often have visiting foreigners who are friends of mine that would not rest without complaining about how unscrupulous traders and cabbies can be. What ever happened to public order? Who's to blame? I'm very certain that there are those who are more responsible than others but if you are looking for the guilty, you need only look into the mirror.

So, as for me, I will work for the Malaysian dream I've always believed in. As to the fate of my beautiful nation, I leave it with trust to the ruling party with a stern warning that the given authority should never be abused or face judgement from the people, by the people. May you live up to the legitimate expectations expected from you and make the nation that I'm prepared to bleed for strong again. It is time to revive the potentials of our motherland.

Selamat Hari Kebangsaan. Keranamu, Malaysia.

Saya TRANSEKSI Lagi!

Hari ini, Gua transeksi lagi.

Ini lagu memang best best!


R.I.P Yasmin.

R.I.P Yasmin.

I'll miss you a lot you know...
Good people like you should live longer...

I LIKE!

Hari ini, GUA transeksi di CD-Rama!
LU tak faham GUA bicara apa?
Logik dekat sini:

Communication = Komunikasi
Confrontation = Konfrantasi
Action = Aksi
Transaction = Transeksi la

Relek sikit, GUA bukan pondan.
Tetapi GUA manyak manyak suka ini.
Kerana GUA sokong musik anak Malaysia.
Pemusik ini adalah Zee Avi.
Nama lagu best best dia ialah "Pahit Hati".

GUNALAH BAHASA MALAYSIA! MALAYSIAKU GEMILANG!

PEK CHEK AH!

To whom it may concern,

Uni, vfs, Kolej College and other bledy visa application board giving you too many problems?

Ok. The Chao Chee Bhye Chao Ang Mor giving us so many Chao problems and the ChaoChee Bhye Kindergarten seems to be so Chao Kang when we ask them simple questions hor? Although the Chao teacher-in-charge talk to you so nicely but the Chao problem is still not solved. You all Chao Chee Bhye students need some Chao Chiao Sai guidance right?

I got this from doing research on Chao Chee Bhye websites like the "KANASAI CHAO CHEE BHYE KUBAI LANJIAO" Border Office website, etc:

Should you want to apply to that Chao Ang Mor country to do your Chiak Sai paper in the Chao Ang Mor university, you all cocksters would need to:

Get 40 miserable points. I think I play Mario also easier than this Chee Bhye point system ah!

30 points if:

1)You have obtained a visa letter (unconditional acceptance)

2)Also bledy make sure that your school is registered with the UK Border Agency

30 points will be awarded to you if the above details are in order.

For the remaining 10 points. You will need:

1)An individual or join-account in your name indicating the availability of the following:

(a)Full fees for the first year, as stated in the bledy visa letter. If you have paid part of the fees, please show an original receipt as evidence.

(b)Maintenance fee of pounds sterling 5,400 per annum (outside London) or pounds sterling 7,200 per annum (in London)

(c)The stated amounts must be made available in cash. Fixed deposits are acceptable. Bonds, stocks or pension fund accounts are NOT.

Among these, don't forget to bring more needed shit. They are:

1)Current and previous passports.

2)A photocopy of the bio-data page of the current passport.

3)A recent passport-sized photograph with a white background.

4)Original education certificates used to apply to British institution.

5)One set of photocopy for all documents submitted.

6)Two sets of detailed itemised list for all documents submitted.

Alternatively, you can download the checklist at www.vfs.-uk-my.com/documents.aspx

After you have completed your checklist of items, log on to www.visa4uk.fco.gov.uk to fill up the online application form. Once the form is completed and submitted, print a copy of the form. Should there be any need to reprint the form, it will be available in the system for up to three months after the date of submission.

Other forms that are needed are

1)The student survey fnorm

2)Student self-assessment form

Having said that, you will need to make an appoinment at www.vfs-uk-my.com to register your application and to have your biometric data taken. You will also need to pay the visa fees. The fee table can be found at www.vfs-uk-my.com/visafees.aspx.

Last but not least bring your application form, original documents and visa fees on the appointment day to:

The UK Visa Application Centre

Suite 19.06, 19th Floor,

Wisma MCA, Jalan Ampang

50450 Kuala Lumpur

Tel:03-2164 9323

You will be able to track your visa status at www.vfs-uk-my.com.

I hope this post would be helpful to anyone who needs it. All the best in your application and I wish you success in the new chapter of your life.

Redang @ 25/6/2009

And again, I'm back to the place where I can unwind myself and have a leisure boost for muah.

Oh gosh, I really need a break.


































This time, I'm enjoying the company with none other than the closest of kins.

Last but not least, never ever lose touch with something you love more than your wife.






























Cheers to Redang @ August 2009.


































Till then.

AFK

My goodness, I have been so busy since the end of my exams to the extent that I have no time for myself....

God, how I wished I had 48hours in a day...

Thank you, Almighty!

The battlecry has since ended.
Phew~~I would say.
I finally made it, some didn't.
Brace yourself buddies!
And please don't hate Mr.Chew.
Don't hate the player, hate the game.

Last but not least. Big THANK YOU to the Man upstairs!

Best musical/comedy I've ever seen

This is even a better musical than Dreamgirls. I'd say it's an artistic approach that reflects the heartbeat of Malaysia. Coupled with comedy and a couple of lame jokes (which I can do better in), it's one hell of a show that doesn't waste that 2 hours of your life.

Please watch it. Malaysians (excluding cicakman, jangan pandang belakang, bohsia and kanina) do make good movies. If Yeo boleh make a film that can be an international hit, Malaysia memang boleh.

Malaysiaku gemilang.

Victory! Probably not...

Finally, the battle is over. Surviving the rest of it is the next hurdle.

Till then.

Untitled

It has been quite some time since I last knelt with so much passion. Humbling, I would say. I looked up and told Him my fears, everything.

At the instance, I shivered and heard Him say: "O' ye of little faith".

Thank you.

D Day on Monday.

It has been a dawn of terror for the men in green. Against such odds and under a baptism of fire which no one impliedly signed up for, the men wait with nothing but sheer helplessness. The wait seemed to last for eternity and under persistent incoming shrapnel, the brothers' faith diminished without mercy. "The adrenalin's killin me, sir!" said the private from Texas. I kept my cool and remained silent like a stone - It was nothing more than a calm appearance, we were in the middle of a war, dammit! I could be a casualty in moments to come. Still, I had to remain the poise of a commanding officer.

Under the disguise of calmness, I cleared my throat and spoke in a firm voice:" listen up lads, the moment this bridge sets its teeth on the very beach your eyes are on, you will find cover, inch yourself up that son o' a bitch anthill and rain hell. Do you get me?". In unison, the men on the top of their voices yelled " Sir!Yes, sir! ". Morale was the key here, as a matter of fact, it was the key to any battle. The challenge in it lies in keeping it high.

I must admit that Okinawa isn't a forgiving territory. It is a cursed and wretched mountain that nobody would want to risk their lives conquering. Still, orders prevailed.

Soon, time shifted forward and the moment of truth arrived. The winch that controlled the pontoon fell loose and the amphibious vehicle came to a rude halt on the beach. As soon as I gave the "go" signal, the men in front of me fell followed by the corporal on my right. The neighbouring vehicle, Roosevelt-46, had been disintegrated by a direct mortar hit. "Damn! I just saw them seconds ago", I thought. I turned around and gave the "charge" order when my eyes noticed that the men were stunned in their tracks.

I ran for cover and was fortunate enough to find one barely enough to cover my stature. "Gosh! It could have been me", I sobbed. That corporal just had a baby boy two months ago. "Shit! that made another widow", I cried. With no moment of peace to mourn, Jensen the 1st class private came up to me and said "orders, Lieutenant?". "Flank em! Flank them! Get 2nd platoon to go with you.....and find Sarge", I replied. Everything was in a total mess-bloody hell. Bodies everywhere, machine guns whirling and artillery bombardment that sounded like the thunder god, Zeus, himself. It was a fight no one could understand. Japs(Gan Jo Ee), Allies..... we are not so different after all.

Okinawa wasn't an ideal place for a picnic. But for now, my orders in priority are to gain control of the mountain and to escort the 16th Battalion (Praetorian Signal Corps) to the summit. Once all of these are done, I shall have a little siesta on the tip of the enemy-controlled territory.

I will prevail. Till then, "FORMATION! CHARGE!".

Kick-ass movie of the year!

I know not many locals are into homemade movies but this movie can kick any Hollywood/Bollywood Blockbuster anytime, anywhere.

Directed by my personal favourite, Yasmin Ahmad, this movie emphasizes on the importance of racial harmony. With it comes the zest of Malaysian humour accompanied by a series of sentimental and thought-instilling settings.

This movie is definitely worth your 10 bucks. Way better than the noise polluting fast & furious and confessions of a shop-a-holic, this is definitely my kind of show.

Long live Yasmin and her local movies!

It's a love-hate relationship..

I love my classmates. They never fail to amuse me. For starters, this was stuck to the class-room door for everyone to see.





















Dear Mr. Chew, if you are reading this post, please bar DL from his finals. I will repay you with whatever means you see fit.

But I know my God is a just God. This is what would happen when someone messes with me. ROTFLOLX!!! I didn't do it ah!














The driver happier than ever even with his car screwed.














j




















































Happy fooled day

ASSignment..

02:01 30th March 2009
-Trying to finish my assignment (hope Mr.Chew doesn't read this post).
-The deadline is really close now.
-Listening to one song again and again.
-Mighty to save, it's the only thing getting me psyched enough to finish my religion and the law
assignment.
-Hoping to get more help via divine intervention but am content with what I have.
-Last but not least, I just LOVE this song.

Everyone needs compassion
Love thats never failing
Let mercy fall on me
Everyone needs forgiveness
The kindness of a Savior
The hope of nations
Savior
He can move the mountains
My God is mighty to save
He is mighty to save
Forever
Author of salvation
He rose and conquered the grave
Jesus conquered the grave
So take me as You find me
All my fears and failures
And fill my life again
I give my life to follow
Everything I believe in
Now I surrender
I Surrender
Savior
He can move the mountains
My God is mighty to save
He is mighty to save
Forever
Author of salvation
He rose and conquered the grave
Jesus conquered the grave
Savior
He can move the mountains
My God is mighty to save
He is mighty to save
Forever
Author of salvation
He rose and conquered the grave
Jesus conquered the grave
Shine Your light and let the whole world see
Were singing
For the glory of the risen King
Jesus
Shine Your light and let the whole world see
Were singing
For the glory of the risen King
Savior
He can move the mountains
My God is mighty to save
He is mighty to save
Forever
Author of salvation
He rose and conquered the grave
Jesus conquered the grave
Savior
He can move the mountains
My God is mighty to save
He is mighty to save
Forever
Author of salvation
He rose and conquered the grave
Jesus conquered the grave
Shine Your light and let the whole world see
Were singing
For the glory of the risen King
Jesus
Shine Your light and let the whole world see
Were singing
For the glory of the risen King



Adjourned for now.

Who turned the lights off?

Radio DeeJays are probably dumping all sorts of irrelevant shit into your ears to the extent it forms enough ear wax to make 10 candles a year.

What might really catch your attention is Malaysia's first earth hour campaign designed to promote awareness with regards to energy conservation and global warming. In Her Royal Majesty's language, it means, SCREW YOU for turning your lights on on the 28th of March 2009 between 8.30pm-9.30pm for if you do so you have no chest hair and your privates will rot for 60 earth hours.















But please la, this campaign gauges how ready Malaysians are when it comes to environmental conservation. However unnecessary this notion might sound to you, why not just do it for the sake of saving our pathetic selves on the long run. Every light turned off is a symbol of dedication. Every light turned off promotes a go-green mindset. Every light turned off means lesser money for the National Utilities Board and thus every light turned off results in lesser corruption in the government. So, basically, you are doing all of these for the benefit of yourself.

Hail, Malaysia the beautiful! (apologies for making it political again)